At this very moment my heart is so full! Full because my day has been filled with fellowship with my church family. Never would I have imagined I'd be at this point in my life where I really enjoy people so much, where I'm genuinely excited and look forward to being around people, but not just any people, Gods people. Man, there is something freeing about being in His presence with people that all have the same common goal. The goal of loving God, loving people, being obedient, serving Him, serving others, and truly living life together as God has called us to do so. I don't know, I wish I could put into words what I'm really feeling right now, it's so surreal. My heart is overflowing with joy simply because I spent the day in fellowship, getting to know others, and allowing them to get to know me.
For the most part, I've always been a loner, don't get me wrong I have friends but I've kept myself isolated from people because of my fear of rejection and being judged...basically to keep myself from getting hurt. For a long time I thought that was the best way to be but as I've grown closer to God, he's began to change my heart, I've realized we were meant to do life together, and I've realized how much it's hindered me. We are suppose to bear with one another in love, be there through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the pain, the heartbreaks, the victories, everything! "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."-Galatians 6:2
Being alone, letting fear and rejection control my life has left me battling depression and anxiety more than I'd care to admit. For a long time, longer than I could remember, I felt like no one could understand how I felt or what I was going through. No one could possibly understand the feelings of hopelessness and despair I felt but that's a lie. A lie the enemy tells us to keep us from fellowship and communion with others. See the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; but God has come to give us life, and have it to the full.-John 10:10. Not life alone but together, when God created Adam, he created Eve, "it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."- Genesis 2:18. We were never meant to do life alone but together. As I slowly begin to open myself up, let people in and get to know them, I've realized we're all battling a lot of the same feelings. Maybe I don't understand a particular situation you've been through but I know what it's like to be angry, sad, hurt, confused, asking God "why me?" or "why didn't you stop this from happening?" I know what it's like to carry guilt, shame, and embarrassment, not wanting anyone to pity you so you deal with it all on your own, and I am darn sure you all know these feelings as well. It's what you do what these feelings that matter, do you let them control you or do you control them? Easier said than done, trust me, I know, I totally get it! For a long time I let these lies control me and I say lies because anything that comes against God's word is a LIE!
There's comfort and most importantly peace in knowing that I don't have to go through life alone anymore. When I fall, when I'm depressed, or anxious, I have now have this amazing church family to lift me up, encourage me, pray for me, to just simply be there. When you fall and you're alone, its hard to get up but MY GOD when you have people to help you it's hard to stay down, they will not allow you to stay down. " Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."-Ephesians 4:9-12
As I walk through this journey called "life," I've realized the importance of being connected to a church, to God's people. My sincere prayer for you is that you will be blessed with what I've discovered in my church family. I've been blessed with this privilege to share my life with some pretty amazing people and so have you, you just have to take a tiny step of faith and put yourself out there. If your anything like me you go to church and try to dart out the door as soon as church is over (God has not delivered me from this yet but what can I say? I'm a work in progress...lol) but I would encourage you all to allow people to come beside you, love you, and encourage you! The hardest and most important step is you taking the first step, open yourself up even its just sharing something small, it gets easier and God will reward those tiny steps of faith. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.
If you don't have a church family or are unsure where to start, please don't hesitate to ask for help. I am more than willing to help in anyway that I can!
Until next time,
Your Sister in Christ
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